Unfortunately, I told my wife this when we met and because she was desperate to marry me, she lied about her age. My wife is 5 years older than me. I got to find out from a school mate of her who happened to be a new colleague in my office. We were gisting and getting to know ourselves better, I quickly showed her a pic of my wife so she could know how beautiful she is.
She referred to my wife as aunty Kemi, and narrated how close they were, her real age and so many other things my wife actually hid from me. I confronted my wife and threatened her that if she didn't reveal her true age and all that I need to know about her past to me, I am going to divorce her.
That was when she confessed that she didn't really tell me her real age because she found out before we got close that I was younger than her and because she didn't want to lose me and that age is just a number she had to lie. Not only that, she confessed how reckless and wayward she was in the past.(that could probably be the reason she's yet to give me a child, who knows?) I am so confused, and considering the fact that we don't have a child together yet, should I divorce her or just continue to live with her while I make her pay for all the lies she's told me. I need your advice urgently, thanks .....
ReplyDeleteGoing by your story you have every good reason to divioce her, though you don't expect any woman to tell you the truth about her bad past life when she knows you guys will be getting married.
On the aspect of the age age 5 years is just too much for a women to be older tban her husband. My advice is that you sick another alternative to give you children, my best bet here is that you wife knows what is responsible why she has given birth. You are the one paying for her past sins now.
On the other hand, you need to take her to a good doctor for martanity test let doctor confirmed it if she will still be able to mother a child. On the whole bcareful of that your wife. I wish you good luck.
Unbelievable ! My advice, let her go. You are too immature and infantile and would make life miserable for her. She doesnt deserve your whine.
ReplyDeleteMen and insecurities. What's wrong in confronting her about the issue and settling things in a mature way? Divorce her na. Then marry another liar and divorce that one too. By the time you marry 17 women, your eye go clear.
ReplyDeleteBtw, you can divorce her if you have NEVER lied to her. I mean NEVER. Either a simple or minute lie. If you have never lied, then....
Another comment to justify Deceit and Lies in Marriage that is suppose too be based on Trust...
DeleteOf course, marriage should be based on trust. She did wrong by lying. I wasn't trying to hold brief for her actions. Neither do I throw stones at people...I am not perfect too. The husband should seek first to understand before tearing their wedding certificate.
DeleteListen to her. Settle things amicably. Don't throw all the good years away. Watch her reaction too.
Erm......I don't know if I should comment at all cos this situation is just twisted and it can spiral outta control at any time and point.
ReplyDeleteWhile I believe that her past is not connected with her not being able to conceive a child I am worried about the lie about her age.
Your issue about a child can easily be resolved as all you need do is go to a medical practitioner and get some tests done as you might actually be the person with the problem. Perhaps their is nor problem at all so you can't link her past with that.
The issue about her living a wayward and reckless life is inconsequential. As long as she has been loyal and faithful, I don't see why you should hold it against her. She has a past before she met you(a lot of women do) and that's it was.
Now to the huge lie, is this so much of a problem? I know it is not to me but it seems like a big deal to you cos it is one of your rules and principles. But I have to ask, has she been a good and supportive wife? Does she love you and you her? We all make mistakes and tell lil lies to make ourselves look attractive but that's cos we want that person.
Do some soul searching as see if you can be with her irrespective of her age and make a decision. You seem pretty rational and intelligent so think well and if you can't go beyond the age thing, then get a divorce. Staying married to make her suffer just hurts you more. Believe me.
Have a great day
You jus saved me from writing that epistle myself.
DeleteLol
DeleteDitto
Deleteok,u want to make her pay for all the lies?
ReplyDeleteGOODLUCK.
Any relationship built on lies will not last...i still preach that we are human beings and since we cant know the past or the future, we should be esperimenting with the present. Be intimate before marriage, get her pregnant before marriage. These are sins b4 God, but its good to know the rules and break some. You can easily forgive your spouse, but you will hardly forget it. The only thing that would help you guys is the cry of a new baby. Women live reckless life during their teens and school days and sometimes, makes costly mistakes. It is very painful when an innocent guy pay for the mistakes with her. I call you innocent because, if you are not, you could have gotten her pregnant b4 marrying her. The age issue should not be a problem as far as she looks young to your liking but by dating, you could have known all these before now.
ReplyDeleteThat is y i trust myself. I investigate a lot!
ReplyDeleteThe question is how did she get to hide that? No facial appearance for suspicion? You didnt get to see any of her certificates? @all? I think you were too gullible!
ReplyDeleteNow you want to divorce her? What would you tell the kids? Because she lied? It does not just seem like the right step.
Going by what you typed, she didnt behave in any arrogant way, meaning she is submissive in spite of the age difference. Thats okkk by me.
To drive home how bad you feel, i think you should let her know. Talk things over, express how hurt you are and how bad it has attacked your trust for her. A sane lady should be sober about this.
If you notice remorse, then the case is settled. Maybe she didnt want to lose you or was trying to hide something sinister thats why she did what she did.
If she sounds indifferent, you must apply another strategy. But at all cost, avoid divorce like a plague. If for no reason, at least for your kids when they arrive the earth.
Seriously, this issue get as ee be oh! How can a woman lie to her husband( someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with).
ReplyDeleteif she can lie about her age, then she can also sleep with another man and claim you impregnated her...
But i dare say that if your wife has been faithful all the while you have been married, forgive her and make her promise to always be honest in the future.
ou particularly want to divorce your wife because she did not give you her right age. May God help those who call His name but hate His instruction. Where in the bible were you advised to divorce on the basis of lies about age? So because of lie about age and not even immorality you now want to stop loving her? Where do you place forgiveness? Where you not taught on marriage class to always forgive so as to avoid the devil tempting the marriage? Do you not know that without forgiveness no marriage on earth will sail through? I hope that you have never slept with another woman since you married your wife because if you have, until resistitution is done by you confessing to her the right to divorce has biblically being taken away from you. That is the painful truth. Read your bible if you have one especially what God said about divorce. But if you don't give a damn about heaven, God or His blessings, then go ahead and divorce.
ReplyDeleteI respect your maturity but also empathise with poster....so the only thing I'd say is now that the wife had cast aside the burden of deceit, there's a good chance she'll conceive
ReplyDeleteGo ahead son, dissolve the marriage. I'm not saying so because she lied about her age, but because of the pure spite and resentment you hold towards her. Don't play all godly and sanctimonious like you have never told a lie before or kept a secret from her. If at any moment you grow up and decide to make it work by forgiving her, goodluck!
ReplyDeleteIf you have never lied to her about your past and present life style then be the 1st to throw the stone i.e to ask for divorce but if you are not a saint which no one is but God ...4give her and join your faith with her's and trust God for the fruit of the womb and I know that the merciful,kind and faithful God will surely visit your marriage.
ReplyDeleteAll i will say is forgive her, the Bible says all old things has pass away and become new. Love her and cherish her, she is already part of you and the Lord will bless you and give you your heart desire.
ReplyDelete