A 30-year old single lady working in a bank in one of the Nigeria's famous cities. About three years ago, I had a brief affair with a young and good-looking man. He is 4years older than me and works in an oil company. We actually met while I was in the marketing department of my organization.
Before long, we started seeing each other and even spent nights at each other's place. I had great affection for him and he was a real gentleman with nice qualities. However, the relationship lasted only five months and it ended after I carried out an abortion because according to him, he had no plans to settle down at that point. I felt used, dumped and couldn't bear the pain any longer so I broke up with him.
After my younger sister completed her National Youth Service last year, she travelled out of the country for her master's Programme in the United Kingdom, same country my ex was transferred to from Lagos the same year we broke up. He had informed me about the promotion and I wished him well. We keep in touch once in a while, though no strings attached.
The shocker ; My sister has always been telling me so many sweet things about her new found boyfriend and that she can't wait for me to meet him. She obviously was in love....and I was very happy for her because just like me, she had gone through so many heartbreaks.
Few months later, she sent picture of herself and a guy together at a friend's birthday party. At first, I thought my eyes were deceiving me ; it was my ex ! I recognized him the moment I saw his face. As if that was not enough, that same night, my sister called and gave me another shocker of my life ! She said my ex has proposed and they are planning to get married later this year.
Honestly, ever since I heard this news, I have been very uncomfortable. I called my ex immediately and told him we needed to talk. I expressed my fear and reservation of him courting my sibling considering our past. He said he already knows we are related and that he found out after several conversations with my sister and he even saw a picture of us together.
He said he hasn't said anything yet and that we should keep sealed lips because he's not ready to lose my sister and she's the woman he's prepared to spend the rest of his life with. And for the fact that our relationship was long dead and buried. I felt terrible, but then I still have to be happy for my sister. I accepted his view but I have been miserable. I really need to get this off my chest but at the same time, I don't want to hurt my kid sister. I am mad at myself, I am mad at my life. ITWAB readers, what do I do please?
In order to protect your sister, I'll advice you tell her. If anything goes wrong in future and she later founds out, she'll never forgive you
ReplyDeleteI think you should tell her after they've gotten married
ReplyDeleteYour sister needs to at least know that you dated this guy. if he's too much of a coward to tell her, then you should. it's your responsibility to protect ur sister from the hurt and discomfort that would come from accidentally finding out.
ReplyDeleteSpeak now or forever be silent
ReplyDeleteIt is better u tell her. u as her elder sister should be able to guide ur younger sister. which means it's ur responsibility and it's ur call so make it now before it's too late.
ReplyDeleteMoreso it is an abomination for a guy to love two sister and have their canal knowledge
But is it really proper for the marriage to hold? Tell her and she shouldnt marry the so called guy
ReplyDeletederes nothing wrong in the lady getting married to the guy.what is wrong is she getting married without knowing wat has happen in the past.my dear sister,discuss with this husband to be and together reach an agreement to tell her together.the 3 of u shud be on seat wen it is to be told.the situation is enough to put the relationship to test.if its meant to be,it wud only wave around like a palm tree been tossed around by the wind,but it will neva be uprooted.wat is past is past !
ReplyDeleteInform her and let your concious be clear and be happay.
ReplyDelete